A few years ago we had a discussion in Sunday School about accountability partners and I remember commenting something like this:
"Your accountability partner has to be someone you respect and/or fear in some way. There has to be some characteristic they have in order to actually hold you accountable. If you just pick your best friend to keep you accountable and they don't have a backbone, are you really going to care if they call you on your lack of __________? (fill in the blank for what you want to be accountable to) "
I would like to know your thoughts on this matter. I might be wrong, there might be something one of you says that really makes sense to me in this area, but I have a hard time picking an accountability partner. I am a strong personality (shocking I know! ) I want someone to keep me accountable in being a godly wife and mother, but I am very good at excuses/reasoning/justifying etc and I need/want someone to call me on it in a loving manner so that I strive to do better. I don't want a drill Sargent b/c I want to be encouraged not discouraged. I want someone that leads by example and knows the right things to say to encourage me in my walk. Someone that cares enough about me to call me on things and loves me enough to do it gently.
As I'm writing this I came to a realization: I have accountability partners, lots of them-they just don't know it. :) (Can you have an accountability partner if they don't know it?) So many of my friends encourage me to be a better mother/wife, simply by sharing their lives. They lead by example. Maybe I don't want/need a specific person with the goal of changing me, maybe having a desire to be a godly wife/mother and having examples of what that means is enough to help me improve. Would having a specific person actually set me back? Would I be trying to improve for their sake and not mine/God's?
I just wrote a post about how much I appreciate the vulnerability of my friends and their willingness to post about their struggles as well as their triumphs and I have to say it is not easy. As I write this I think of all the ways it could be used against me or what people might think about me for sharing my thoughts, but if I want my friends to be open and vulnerable then I guess I should be to. So go easy on me:)
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5 comments:
It is so funny because I have had the very same thoughts this week about an accountability partner. I don't think it would hinder you to have one person or even a small group of people by any means, but I also think your point about how we can all learn, and be challenged by each others examples is right on also! In my mind an accountability partner is someone that you might share things with that you wouldn't share with a whole small group of friends....?? But I don't know?? Just my random thoughts!
Sarah-
You're right, that is another quality, someone you trust enough to be completely open and honest with. I think that quality might actually be easier to find than the quality that makes you want to actually stay accountable. Does that make sense?
Yeah,
It is easy to say that you want to have/be an accountability partner but i agree that it would be harder to actually really stay accountable. You would really want to structure your times/issues around the Bible and what God has to say because then I think/hope you would be challenged not only by that person but also because you know it is what God wants from you- not just someone else's opinion on the situation. Does that make sense?
I think you two should pair up and be accountable to each other! Sounds like you are both on the same page!
Interesting to read your comments on this Lyndi. Through a program at my church here I signed up to meet with another woman regularly for mentoring. We had not met before the first meeting. There had been a couple meetings for her and other women interested in mentoring to discuss some of the goals and best ways to go about it. Those interested in being metored also had a couple hour gettogether to hear about it and what it would involve. This is the first time I have done something like this and I have appreciated the times we have met. I think God planned it as the women I ended up meeting with has many of the same interests and ideas. She is about 10-15 years older than I and good at keeping our times focused and regularly asks me about my prayer/bible study times and some of the goals we have talked about in the past. She is also good at helping keep me accountable even if I am not moving fast in some of these areas. She is happy to share examples from her life and how she is doing on some of those same things. For me it has also been helpful as I am also good at making excuses to myself for not doing certain things I know I need to do and sharing those excuses with her I realize that they are often not valid ones!
Hanna Thomas
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